and I want to live inside the glow.

"Love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. And maybe making that choice, again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all."

... aint that the truth?

I believe that too often, the thing you want most is the one thing you can't have. Desire leaves us heartbroken, it wears us out. Desire can wreck your life. But as tough as wanting something can be. The people who suffer the most, are those who don't know what they want.

anyways ...

I just wanted to put down a few things before I step out. I woke up early this afternoon (*blush) and lay in my bed just thinking. I wasn't thinking about anything in particular at first but then my mind just took me back a few years and there I was. All the best times swallowed by the worst then saved by the better. As each memory played out, I labeled each of them with a chapter heading as if it were a novel. It sounds pretty psycho but in actuality, it made perfect sense. It still makes sense. Why not have chapter headings for most favourite and not so favourite moments in life? In any case, the flashback picture shows kept playing out in my head and I found myself crying. Not painful tears or happy tears. Just tears. Probably because I realized I am not the child from my past. I am the woman from which my past had built.

I layed there for a few hours more. The tears kept rolling. And I just kept wiping.


xoxo - Jacs